This is How I Began Chanting the Lalita Sahasranama

I often see people asking whether they are allowed to recite the Lalita Sahasranama and feeling unsure about it. Many wonder if it is permitted without a formal initiation by a Guru (Deeksha). So today, I felt I should share a little of my own journey. I want to tell you how I began this sacred recitation, what stirred my heart, and how it transformed me. It is said that only the truly fortunate and inwardly called are able to approach the Lalita Sahasranama, for it is not just a chant but a living bridge to the Mother’s lap.

I was born in a small village in district Fatehpur, Uttar Pradesh. In my house, faith was the dominant culture filling every corner. I was blessed to have very religious parents. My earliest memories are of reciting the Ramcharitmanas, with the scent of incense drifting through the house. Alongside Ramcharitmanas, I chanted Hanuman Chalisa, Bajrang Baan, Sankatmochan Hanuman Ashtak, Sundarkand, Durga Kavach, Durga Chalisa, Shiva Chalisa, to name a few. These shaped my inner world long before I understood the meanings of the mystic words. My childhood was filled with visits to Vindhyavasini Mata temple, local temples, baths in the Ganga, and trips to Chitrakoot. These memories are my deepest roots. My father had a transferable job, so I got to visit many temples nearby wherever we stayed.

As I grew, so did my love for these practices. I kept Pradosh fasts for Lord Shiva for many years on the advice of the family priest. In those days we had a full-grown Bilva tree in our house, so it was easy to pluck the leaves and worship Lord Shiva with full devotion. I did the worship in the ritualistic way our priest taught. But when I left home for college, life changed its colors. I moved to Pune for my MBBS at Armed Forces Medical College, and my days became crowded with books, exams, hostel life, and career dreams. Slowly, the regularity of my daily recitations faded. Except for Pradosh Vrat, many things were left behind, or so I thought.

But life, as it always does, brings us back to what is truly ours. Around 2013, I found myself standing at a point where circumstances shook me from within. I was restless, deeply anxious, surrounded by shadows of doubt and fear that I could not name yet could not escape. And when such times come, what does the heart do? It runs back to its oldest refuge, to the lap where it first felt safe.

I remembered what I did as a child whenever I was afraid: I would close my eyes and whisper Hanuman Ji’s name. Later, as I grew, my heart found more and more shelter in Devi Maa. Every time I truly called out to Her, my eyes filled with tears, and the impossible somehow became possible. My Mother had never failed me when I needed Her.

So that year, standing at another crossroad, I turned my mind back towards Her with nothing but raw worry and simple faith. My mind whispered that I should chant Baglamukhi Devi’s mantra. Even though I had read that such mantras require a Guru’s guidance, my heart said, “How can a mother ever reject her child’s cry?” I started chanting silently, mentally, imbibing every syllable, visualizing Ma Baglamukhi while reciting Her mantra.

And slowly the storm within me began to settle. The fear lost its grip, the anxiety softened, and somewhere deep inside, a new strength was born. I kept going. My urge to realize the Mother grew deeper. I began to read about the Das Mahavidyas, one by one, each form revealing a new aspect of the same boundless energy.

And then, for the first time, I came across the Lalita Sahasranama. Until then, I had only known the Durga Saptashati as one of the main stutis of Ma. The idea of chanting the thousand names of Sri Lalita Mahatripurasundari was new to me. But again came the caution: do not recite without a Guru’s initiation. So I hesitated. I searched, I wondered, I worried. Yet the longing kept rising like a tide that would not turn back.

I asked myself, is it ever wrong for a child to remember his Mother? If my longing is pure, if my voice is only calling for Her lap, will She turn me away? Won’t She see my smallness, my mistakes, my ignorance, and still accept me? My love for Her was selfless, and I believed it must have some pull. Like a child running across a busy road to reach his mother’s arms, will She not clear the path?

One night, when my heart could hold back no longer, I printed out the PDF of Lalita Sahasranama. I sat down alone in my small temple and began. Word by word, name by name, carefully, slowly, absorbing and experiencing each like sacred nectar. My Sanskrit was not perfect, but my devotion was whole. As I chanted, something in me broke open. An ocean of longing for Ma, a rush of tears, a strange comfort, and a deep strength born of faith in Her.

It was not like chanting Durga Saptashati, which carries the fierce sword and unimaginable power of the Divine Mother. The Lalita Sahasranama is a garland, every name a petal, every description a glimpse of the Mother’s grace, power, and true nature. I felt like a child describing my Mother’s beauty, picturing Her eyes, Her smile, Her ornaments, Her radiance, Her characteristics, Her behavior, Her affinities, Her strength, Her absoluteness. The more I read, the closer She felt.

From that night on, I began reciting it often. Slowly, it became part of my daily life. As I went deeper, I came across the Panchadashakshari Mantra of Sri Vidya. Again, I felt a deep pull to recite it and began reciting it too, mentally, without telling anyone. Whether working, walking, or eating, somewhere inside the mantra kept flowing. It came naturally, as if it had been waiting to express itself through me.

It is said when a disciple is ready, the Guru appears. In time, my seeking brought me to my Guru, who guided me into Sri Vidya properly. But looking back, I know in my bones that the Mother’s grace was the real Guru all along. She guided my unsteady steps when no one else was there, She covered my mistakes with compassion, and She let my longing grow until it was time to be led forward.

I share this not to claim it is the ‘correct’ way for everyone. Each of us has our own past, our unseen karmas, our half-finished prayers from forgotten lifetimes. For some, it is right to wait for a Guru before every step. For others, the Mother Herself picks them up and holds them until they find one.

If you too feel this calling, a silent hunger that no worldly success or failure can satisfy, trust that it is She who has planted that seed in you. Let your devotion remain pure and deep. Seek Her not for favors or bargains, but for the sheer sweetness of Her presence. A child does not sit in its mother’s lap to ask for wealth or comforts, it sits there to feel her love, her warmth, and her protection.

The Mother you call Lalita, Tripura Sundari, Raj Rajeshwari or by any name, She knows your heart. She sees what you hide from the world. Trust Her. Call Her. Confide in Her. Let Her decide what you need, and when, and how it will come. May your longing lead you to Her feet. May your devotion grow stronger than fear or doubt. May you find again that lap where all worldly burdens melt away, and all that remains is Her infinite love.